How do you convince an elderly parent to move out of their home or get help without hurting them and risking your relationship?
It can feel like you’re navigating a minefield.
Worried about your parents at the same time you’re worried about how they’ll accept your advice . . .and even if they’ll hate you for bringing up the subject.
When their safety’s at issue, you may have no other choice.
And sometimes you just keep trying until you find a way . . .
When Bob and Nellie were in their 80s, their children became increasingly concerned with their frail health and living alone in their rural farmhouse.
Multiple attempts to convince Bob and Nellie to move to senior assisted living seemed to go nowhere. While Bob seemed interested, Nellie insisted on staying in her own home.
She had a room for her yarn and knitting books. Arranged just the way she liked it.
On one visit to a friend’s new assisted living cottage, Nellie saw her friend’s knitting and asked about it. And the friend said how lovely it was to have someone else do the cooking and cleaning so she could do more handcrafts.
Soon after Nellie and Bob announced they’d decided it was time to move.
Are you dreading having this conversation with your parent or parents?
What can stop you from having that conversation?
- Fear about how your parents will react . . .
- Concern about their privacy . . .
- Worry about changing the family dynamics, maybe even reversing the child-parent roles.
Ask yourself if their safety outweighs your other concerns.
What can make someone reluctant to move?
- Concerns about losing their possessions, treasures and memories.
- Fear about change . . .maybe even fear of dying.
- Concerns for an elderly neighbor living alone or maybe a pet.
- Fear about loss of independence.
- Feeling overwhelmed about sorting through a lifetime of papers and things.
How can you make the decision easier?
- Begin the talks sooner rather than later. When time allows, allow your parents to make the decision themselves before it needs to be made for them.
- Talk about their concerns. Try to understand why they’re reluctant. Maybe it’s as simple as wanting to see another option.
- Find a way to have them feel needed. Asking them to do it to decrease the family’s worry may be the answer. Or maybe helping keep someone employed like an aide or nurse may help your parents feel useful and needed.
Do you know . . .?
According to the U.S. government about 70% of people over the age of 65 will need some long-term care services?
This can include . . .
- Help with activities of daily living like bathing and dressing
- In-home services from an aide or a nurse
- Care in an assisted living facility
Over 40% will spend at least some time in a nursing home.
Where can you turn for help?
It can be challenging to figure out the best elder care solution for your parents when you’re also doing everything you normally do.
Click on this link to find Senior Housing options and elder care for your elderly loved one.
Keep knitting to your heart’s delight — or someone else’s,
“The Knitting Dr.”
Caregiving With Purpose
The information on this website is for educational purposes only. It does not replace information or recommendations from your own physician or other health care provider. This site does not advocate medical or other health-related self-care, and encourages you to obtain advice from your own personal physician or other health care provider.
This web site is not intended to replace medical, financial, legal, or any other professional advice. Please use your own good judgment and consult with your own professionals before applying any ideas found within this website.
I may have a marketing connection to a brand, topic or product listed on this website. Through the use of affiliate links contained herein, I may collect fees from purchases made.
For more information: cmp.ly/5/kf4rlc